This morning walking out to the prayer cottage with my blue mug of coffee in hand, I paused under the oak trees where the birds were singing a symphony of praise. Then to my delight I saw lethargic squirrels of yesterday chasing one another back and forth across the yard. Now and then one little fellow would pause and have to catch up. I chuckled; even nature is grateful for the rain that fell yesterday.
Returning from the prayer cottage, I watch Canadian geese in formation winging their way up the river. Life is good! Taking my Bible and other reading material I move outside to sit on the deck facing the river. There I am content listening to the sounds of the morning and watching a boat go by when I remember the question that I couldn’t answer. “What was your vision, your plan when you sold your offices in Roswell Georgia? Where did the confusion come in?”
Suddenly the vision I had dismissed comes into focus, and the pain of letting go returns. The events of the past few years unfold; closing my eyes I attempt to shut off the memories; so much has happened — feelings buried alive resurface. We may bury our dreams, let go of our vision for many reasons, but when God gives the vision it never really goes away.
Many times over the past few years David, who is now Vice President of Word Ministries, asked, “Mom, please just tell me, what is your vision? Write it down.” I froze when I attempted to answer; most of the time I simply smiled and walked away. So many voices, so many emotional pulls… when did confusion cloud my vision, when did I disengage? Sitting there frozen in time, God opened my eyes to the issues that dictated my decisions, gave me the grace to face myself and my motives. Even though the truth was painful, He desires truth in the inner parts. Only then can He teach wisdom in the inmost place. (Read Psalm 51)
One day a few years ago when I met with the realtor who was selling the offices in Roswell, grief moved in and I released my power to make decisions. The changes were overwhelming! Why couldn’t I sort it all out? Finally…the dreaded time was upon me…the offices were sold; I signed the papers and handed the keys to the new owner. This was the place where so many had met with God, and the very walls were saturated with the peace of God. We prayed in the upper room where we experienced an open heaven; it was always different, always heavenly. Peace of God reigned in the conference room, class room, small kitchen and business offices…on the grounds. (In retrospect the selling of the offices was on target; the aftermath is where the problems began; more about that later.)
A dream that was realized was stuffed back into the recesses of my being. BUT GOD!
For the past few days this song written by John Stallings continues on the “repeat” mode.
Learning to lean, Learning to lean; Learning to lean on Jesus…Finding more power than I’ve ever dreamed, I’m learning to lean on Jesus.
(To be continued)
Copyright © Germaine Copeland
President of Word Ministries:
Word Ministries Vision Statement:
Equipping the Body of Christ to be effective Intercessors and fruitful workers in the Vineyard.
Copyright June 2011