Soon after returning home feelings of euphoria changed to weariness. With each passing day responsibilities loomed, and time became my enemy. Negative feelings came crashing in robbing me of self-confidence, and the satisfaction of a job well done was short-lived.
Appointments, deadlines for writing projects, ministry meetings, daily decisions and other overwhelming tasks demanded my time. Time was running so fast I couldn’t keep up. Unshed tears were ready to surface at any moment. Trying to restart my inner surge of strength, I went for a walk only to have my breathing become labored, and my chest almost burst with pain.
Prayer requests looked like thousands of leaves swirling in an autumn wind. The situations were dire, painful. Marriages in shambles, a wife pleading with us to pray for her husband’s deliverance from pornography, relationships, people needing employment, a place to live. Harassed, single mothers were asking for prayer to help them balance children and jobs. Prayer was needed for an unjust lawsuit, for sons and daughters who were in rebellion, and the list goes on. Storm clouds were gathering.
Four days later I drove to our lake house, and the next morning I just wanted to go back to bed. Sleep took its flight as a sense of urgency drove me to the kitchen. Pulling the coffee maker to me, I scooped ground coffee into its receptacle, poured water into the reservoir thinking that one or two cups would jump start my mind and body, and bring me out of the “gloomies.”
Trying to wake up, I walked outside to inhale the fresh air and enjoy the beauty of the lake. Returning to the kitchen, I noticed that the liquid in the coffeepot looked like colored water. I poured it down the sink.
In a few minutes another pot was gurgling, and after a time I reached for a cup, and began pouring. Coffee not only splashed into my cup, but also cascaded down the side of the pot onto the blue tiled counter, and dark pools of liquid mocked me. This was more then I needed this morning.
Furiously wiping the counter, I asked, “God, what is wrong with me?” In the quiet stillness of the early morning I sensed His presence. Gently, like a mother teaching her child, without criticizing or scolding me, He assured me that He was there to help me release the dammed up rivers of living creative waters. In this character-building moment I sensed the approval of my Heavenly Father.
Casting all my cares on Him, I took a deep breath. The few moments of intense prayer brought my thoughts into rhythm with the Lover of my soul. He restored my soul as I repented of my irritability and negative attitude, and I received my forgiveness.
God helped me overcome the proverbial writer’s block — wrong attitudes, and exposed my negative thought patterns. He erased the look of irritability from my face, and helped me change the tone of my voice from harshness to tenderness. At the end of my meditation I saw myself standing in another kitchen and heard the voice of my 2½ year old granddaughter, “Nonna (He had not abandoned me or left me without support), don’t cry, be happy.”
Is your life full of difficulties and temptations? Then be happy, for when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, and don’t try to squirm out of your problems. For when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete (James 1:2-4 LB).
Germaine Copeland is the author of the best selling book series, Prayers That Avail Much. She has written scriptural prayers for the family. Read your Bible, pray and attend church where you can soak up the love and faith of God. You will receive emotional healing, experience spiritual growth and become more intimately acquainted with your Heavenly Father, and your relationships will grow stronger.